This is the second story in my book Mistaken Identity, part of the free sample available from e-book sellers at the right.
One time when I was visiting Deedee in San Francisco, she took me to the Museum of Modern Art. We drank in the art and culture till we both had to pee and headed for the washroom.
We got into cubicles without incident, but when I exited the stall, there at the mirrors and sinks, and between me and the door, were two women. They were thin and starchy and brittle-looking, and made up with everything sprayed in place. They were busy applying more makeup when they caught sight of me and literally gasped in unison. And horror.
One said, “What are you doing in here? This is the ladies’ washroom.”
“No,” said I, “It’s the women’s,” feeling pretty smug with my quick repartee.
“What kind of freak are you?” said the other. “You’re too rough to be a woman, and too ugly to be a man.”
I mean, go figure. I wanted to take her up on the incredible lack of logic in her statement. On her part, she was looking pretty smug, like she had got a good one off.
The clone pal said, “We certainly know how women are supposed to look and you are not one.”
All this happened pretty quickly, really, and suddenly there was a commotion—a door banging hard on its hinges—causing all three of us to look over and see Deedee emerging from the stall, her pants about half way up her legs and her tugging them up with one hand and struggling with her other hand to free her bag which was caught in the door. She finally broke free, kind of lurching towards us at her sudden release, while still pulling up her jeans.
She lit into the two women, and they were open-mouthed and speechless. She told them that her beautiful friend was so much more a woman than they could ever aspire to. She was in a fury but she was eloquent. She finished her tirade by saying that we were the ones who knew who the real women were, and as she said it she yanked up her shirt and flashed them head on and dead on.
I was as surprised as the witches, only of course I was thrilled and them not so much.
We swept out on that note.
- MP Rob Anders takes aim at transgender rights ‘bathroom bill’ proposal (news.nationalpost.com)
- Solidarity (sheilagilhooly.wordpress.com)